Otaku Save the World!
by Hakuma Twins
Summary: Wow, what luck that one of Komui's crazy experiments landed us in the middle of the D Gray-Man World! Too bad the Noah's are still out to destroy the world...but, while we're here, we might as well do something about that too!
1. The otaku have landed

**Authors Note:** Kougetsu: Hello, Kou here, once again! Just for all of you out there, this is a bit more of a crack-fic(nonsensical comedy) so if you're looking for a more serious Fanfiction, look elsewhere(but seriously, keep reading. I _command_ you to keep reading! –points dramatically- )

Junpaku: Niisan, don't scare away the readers, ne? Hello! I am Junpaku! –waves- Welcome to our new Fanfiction! We don't have much to say at the moment…except that this is a 'what if' if we were fangirls that got transported to the D gray-man world…

Kougetsu: Basically, the two of us are guys. For those of you that couldn't figure it out.

Junpaku: …but please read our Fanfiction! Oh, and leave a review!

**Disclaimer:** We do not, nor shall we ever, own D Gray Man, unless otherwise stated by Katsura Hoshino. Just look at the damn copyright on the book! Do you see any credit to the Hakuma twins? No. So therefore, obviously, we get no credit. Happy?

* * *

**Otaku save the World!  
A D Gray Man Fanfiction  
By: Hakuma_Twins  
Chapter by: Kougetsu_KitsuneHinote_Hakuma**

**Chapter 1:** The Otaku have landed

* * *

Allen blinked uncertainly as he and the group that had been summoned looked on skeptically at Komui, the black haired Chinese man having an odd gleam in his eyes that just screamed trouble, adjusting his glasses. Already, Reever and the other workers in the Science Division were preparing to run for their equipment and 'anti-Komui-experiment' tools, as they were called.

"I'm glad that you all could make it." He said with an almost evil purr to his voice. "I have something very special to show you all." He said.

"If it's another Komurin, it's not welcome." Reever growled, eyeing the machinery they had made specifically for dealing with him.

"Oh no, it's something much better! Section leader Reever, step away from that machine!" Komui cried as the Australian man inched towards the special machines in the corner. "Everyone, I'd like to present my latest invention! It's a time machine, and as its name implies, it would allow us to cross time and space!" He cried. Everyone sweat-dropped at this as Komui said it.

Komui stepped toward the machine and pressed a large red button before the machine sputtered and rumbled, the others taking a step back as smoke started to come from beneath the machine panels. Even Komui took a step back after a moment.

"Oh my…that can't be good…" Komui sweat-dropped. Everyone glared death at the Chinese male.

"Komui…" They growled, ready to attack and restrain him.

"Well…I'm sure everything will be fine…" Komui said, though he didn't seem as though he was even convincing himself. The machine sputtered to a stop for a moment, everyone holding their breath before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Well, whaddya know…a machine Komui made _didn't_ blow up and destroy headquarters _or_ blow up in our…"

_BOOM_.

After being blown across the science lab, the group gathered sat up warily. Allen rubbed his head, a little distraught. After looking around, the young albino saw that everything seemed normal aside from scorch marks left by the now blown up machine.

"Well, that could've gone better or worse…" He stated. He blinked in surprise as he heard a pair of screams and looked up in time to see a pair of girls land on him.

"_AAAAAAAAAGH!_'

A light groan left the lips of one of the girls as she sat up, rubbing her ass.

"What…the…FUCK?" She shot up with a growl before stopping and blinking. The girl had a thin figure and was flat as a board. Her skin was a dark gray tone while stigmata crosses adorned the crest of her forehead, nearly and neatly covered by her black hair and platinum bangs that extended just past her ears. Her eyes were a bright and vibrant green with gold trim around the outer iris and pupil. She was dressed in a black blazer with a white dress shirt underneath and a black frilled skirt. Tall, black boots reached to just below her knees and a silver pocket watch and chain hung from the right breast pocket.

The other boyish looking girl blinked in confusion as she sat up slightly, rubbing her head. She was dressed in a black shirt with a folded black high-collar and white drawstrings, a thin black cord looping around her neck several times while the sides of the shirt were partly open, with more white draw-string holding the sides together, a navy blue shirt underneath. It was also accompanied by simple black dress pants and a long sand colored scarf. Her hair was also black and platinum with gold rimming the edges of her iris and pupil, skin a dark shade of gray with a row of crosses on her forehead as well. There was an awkward silence as everyone in the room stared at each other.

"…Niisan…" The girl in the skirt and blazer muttered without looking away from the group of scientists and exorcists, an odd, calm look to her eyes. She still didn't notice the dazed Allen Walker on the ground under her 'Niisan'. The girl in the scarf noted a familiar tall, brooding figure grab the hilt of the sword at his side suspiciously and similar reactions from a few other strangely familiar figures before looking to the other girl.

"Niisan, have you ever seen such a large group of cosplayer's that looked so much like those characters before?" She asked curiously, not seeming to have noticed a certain white-haired boy she was on top of. The girl in the skirt blinked before looking down and brightening.

"Allen Walker~!" She purred cutely. "And no I haven't." She then looked to the black-haired Asian looking man gripping his sword hilt. "…but they sure do look a lot like them…"

"Just great, Komui. You just somehow managed to get a pair of Noah's here!" Reever barked furiously.

"How is this any of _my_ fault?" Komui defended, not seeming at all concerned by the fact that these two Noah girls had just landed in his office, as if this was an everyday coincidence.

"Your stupid time-space machine is what got them here, that's why it's _your_ fault!" Reever snapped harshly.

"Well you don't have any proof of that…" Komui tried to defend.

"Oh yeah? Then how come it only happened right after your machine started up and went ka-poot?"

"Coincidental timing?" The two girls blinked several times as this argument ensued before looking to each other.

"Niisan?"

"Yes, Niisan?"

"Did we just land in the middle of a skit or something?"

"I think so, Niisan…" The two then peered around the room curiously.

"Very convincing set. How do you think they got enough money to build this, Niisan?"

"No idea, but those scorch marks are very convincing. You'd think something really blew up in here."

"Indeed." The girls stopped as a hand tapped the boyish looking one in the side and the two looked down at the supposed boy dressed as Allen Walker.

"…E-excuse me…but could you please…get off?" He wheezed politely. The two blinked before idly looking back up again.

"Niisan…"

"Yes, Niisan?"

"Have you noticed?"

"That there is no audience or stage here?"

"Exactly."

"I don't think the anime convention has enough of a budget to build a set like this…"

"Neither do I, Niisan."

"Do you think…"

"…that maybe…"

"…this could be…?" They both looked at each other with wide eyes before brightening.

"This is real!" They chimed in unison, squealing in delight and earning back everyone's attention as they looked at the two girls like they were insane, and the two continued screaming in delight before stopping abruptly, still looking at each other with wide eyes.

"Niisan, do you know what this means?"

"What?"

"You realize who we're sitting on?" They paused and stared at each other again before squealing loudly.

"WE'RE CRUSHING THE REAL LIFE ALLEN WALKER!" They screamed in unison before hopping up and pulling the white haired youth to his feet.

"Um…is there any other kind…?" Allen wheezed with a forced smile, catching his breath.

"Niisan, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore." The girl in the skirt joked.

"I don't think we're even in the world anymore." The other replied.

"What are they _screaming_ about?" Lavi asked to no one in particular, raising his one visible eyebrow in scrutiny. These were quite possibly the most weird, insane pair of Noah's he'd ever seen.

"Who the Hell cares why they're screaming? Let's just beat the shit out of them and be done with it." Kanda growled, partially drawing Mugen from its hilt. The two stopped and blinked before the girl in the dress looked to the tomboy.

"Niisan, I think we'd better explain about our appearance before the PMSing samurai decides to turn us into sliced cheese."

"PMSing _what_?" Kanda growled, another tick mark appearing as his anger escalated. The two girls smiled in unison and tilted their heads to the side opposite of each other.

"We aren't really Noah's and we know who you are~" They purred simply. They both blinked in unison again as they looked around. "Anyone have a rag?" The group looked at them suspiciously before someone in the back randomly threw one, the rag hitting the tomboy in the face. The girl in the dress pointed and laughed as the tomboy wiped the make-up off with a bit of a scowl before turning to the other girl and flinging it in her face.

"Hey!" The girl in the dress protested. "…Bitch…" She muttered.

"Baka." The tomboy returned.

"Ass."

"Fuck off."

"No, I do not want to fuck a can of bug spray*."

"Slut."

"Whore."

"_Shmuck_." There was a moment of silence before the girl in the dress sighed in defeat and rubbed the make-up off, to reveal pale white skin underneath.

"…you win…" The group of people only blinked at the odd exchange while at the same time wondering how 'shmuck' had trumped all the other insults.

"Well if you aren't Noah's or exorcists…then how do you know about that, how did you get here, and why in the world would you be disguised _as_ Noah's?" Allen questioned in confusion. The tomboy raised an index finger and opened her mouth but stopped and shut it again, looking to the other girl. The other girl blinked, not sure of that either.

"We…don't…know? Well we know about you guys but…not sure if we should tell you…and we still don't know how we got here…" She said, looking to her 'Niisan'.

"If you know about us then prove it." One of the scientists challenged skeptically.

"Okay!" They chimed in unison. The tomboy sharply pointed to Allen first.

"You!" The albino was slightly startled and blinked several times uncertainly.

"Y…yes?"

"You're Allen Walker, the adopted son of Mana Walker who died in an accident then you so intelligently brought him back and killed him a second time with that freakish arm, then lived through three years of Hell training under General Marian Cross before he knocked you out in India with instructions to head to the Black Order where you were mistaken for an Akuma upon arrival, attacked by Kanda and had your arm damaged, where you then had to have it repaired by Komui's amazingly scary and totally awesome drill, then later _had your Innocence destroyed by Tyki Mikk…_" The tomboy stopped as the two snorted and paused, everyone staring with wide eyes as the silence stretched on.

"_OOOOHHHHHH_, I get it…." Lavi snorted as the two grinned and the tomboy continued.

"…then had a big battle against a level three Akuma at the Asian Branch where you eventually got your Innocence back, which, by the way, is totally way more awesome and badass then it was before, before running to Japan, fighting a bunch of battles aboard the Ark, almost had your Innocence destroyed by Tyki….._again_, and found out about the 14th and that he was a traitor Noah who was also Mana's brother meaning that you're an orphan who killed his father who didn't really love him so and so forth and…shall I continue….?" The whole room was silent while Allen stood there twitching before he went into his newly appointed 'Emo Corner' and cried.

"Oh, come on! Do you know how hard it is to make Allen _Emo_? And do you know how hard it is to get him back to normal once he's there?" Lavi fretted.

"Nice going, Niisan. You just broke the main character of the most awesome Manga of all time into tears in all of about two minutes." The girl in the dress chastised blankly.

"…Yeeeeeaaaah….maybe I should've put that a little more tactfully?"

"_Nooooo_, you think? Katsura Hoshino would be ashamed." The tomboy twitched at that and sniffled, sinking to the ground in a similar position as the currently emo Allen crying in the corner.

"I'm a horrible reader…" She sniffled.

"Oh, _come on_! This is no time to be having a Tamaki moment!" The other girl cried. The tomboy didn't respond and the silence stretched on before the girl in the skirt leaned next to her and breathed in her ear, "I'll get you your own whole platter of spicy sushi…" She tempted. The tomboy shot up immediately.

"Right! Now where were we?" She chimed, chipper once more, and only causing the whole room to sweat-drop once again.

"And how do we know you aren't just some kind of freaky Allen stalkers?" Lavi ventured suspiciously.

"Well there's also Lenalee Lee, which isn't as much of a mouth full as you think, who was taken away from Komui by the Order and forced to stay there locked up, which by the way, we totally feel for you. Seriously, those assholes need to find something better to do then kidnap cute little kids…those pedophiles, not to mention you are totally awesome the way you fly through the air and stuff." The girl in the dress blabbered on.

"Um…thanks?" Lenalee blinked several times, not quite sure how to take that.

"Then there's Komui Lee, Lenalee's older brother who happens to be completely crazy with those totally awesome Komurin's of his and is a completely psycho sister complex, but totally fun at the same time." Komui adjusted his glasses smugly.

"Well, I see someone appreciates all my hard work~" He purred quite happily.

"And of course Lavi Junior Bookman, heir to the Bookman clan who also happens to be an accommodator for Innocence that can grow to any size…" They paused and snorted again, and Lavi looked at them for a long moment quizzically before looking to the hammer currently sitting in it's holder before turning a healthy shade of crimson as he realized the innuendo behind the supposedly innocent statement.

"Then of course, there's the science division, most notably Reever Wenhamm, Johnny Gill, Tapp Dopp, and some other less important characters…" They said, waving their hands in the air in a non-caring fashion.

"Not to mention, Aleister Krory, Mr. creampuff when he isn't fighting anyone so-and-so-forth…"

"Cream…puff…?" Krory whimpered.

"…and Mr. penis-hair whenever he has his Innocence activated…" Everyone froze with wide eyes at that while Krory looked extremely uncomfortable at that. The two girls blinked innocently.

"What?" They both asked.

"P…penis hair? Where did you get that from?" Reever choked.

"Oh come on, you never noticed? Every time he activates his Innocence, his hair shoots up like he just got a boner." They both said straight-faced, each abruptly holding up a lock of their own hair to emphasize. Everyone gawked at the two as an awkward silence ensued and Krory went to cry with Allen in the Emo Corner. The girls blinked for a moment before looking to each other.

"Maybe…"

"…T.M.I.?" They figured. They shrugged dismissively before turning back to the group,

"Then there's the clepto-nervous-wreck Miranda Lotto. Oh, and don't forget the eternally PMSing samurai Yuu Kanda."

"Hi Yuu-chan~! And please don't kill us…" They said in unison. A vein instantly bulged along his forehead and his hand went to Mugen, the swordsman whipping it out of its sheath as he glared death at them, lunging angrily.

"DO _NOT_ CALL ME THAT!" He snarled. The two gave an almost fangirlish squeal and ran away, running in circles around the room with Kanda chasing them, his sword seeking to cleave them in half the moment it caught up to them.

"Yay~!"

"I've always wanted to play 'catch-the-rabbit'!" The tomboy cried gleefully, while everyone in the room sweat-dropped for the third time. Komui held a thoughtful expression as Kanda continued chasing the girls that were laughing like maniacs.

"So I suppose we need to find out where these two came from first…"

"Yeah, but that still doesn't explain why they know so much." Lavi pointed out as Kanda stopped to catch his breath, worn out from chasing the two around.

"That's a good question…" Komui said thoughtfully, looking at the two, who had heard what they were saying as they stopped to wait for Kanda to continue his attack.

"Oh, that's an easy one." The tomboy quipped. "We're from the fu-" _SMACK_.

The other girl slapped a hand over the tomboy's mouth, making her go silent.

"Shhhhhhh." She silenced sternly, displaying one of her rare Seme moments.

"Fyu…?" Lavi prompted, raising a brow with piqued curiosity.

"Oh, nothing!" She chimed nervously. Lavi only raised a brow higher.

"No, really, I insist. Please, tell us where you're from." He said, motioning with his hand to go on.

"We're from…uh…uh…" Her eyes darted around the room before the tomboy pried her hand away.

"WISCONSIN! We're from the land of cheese!" She blurted, followed by silence.

"…Ooo…kay….?" Lavi sweat-dropped. The two girls stopped as they felt a dark presence behind them. They looked up before 'meep'ing and running to hide behind Kanda with a loud scream.

"HITLER WANABE!" They shrieked in unison. The gathered group blinked in confusion as the pair did this before looking to the person that had appeared behind them: Leverrier. Kanda only twitched, tempted to slice them in half but for some odd, unknown reason didn't do anything. Leverrier, for his part, turning angry, piercing eyes to everyone.

"Who are these two?" He demanded sternly, leering at the two who were peeking out from behind Kanda on either side.

"Um…something having to do with one of Komui's experiments…?" Allen offered, motioning to the Chinese man. "It somehow transported these two girls here, and that's all we really know…"

"Well whatever the case, they need to leave. Send them back to wherever they came from. _Now_." He growled.

"Um…" The group began simultaneously, all looking at the blown up machine as black smoke rose from the debris.

"It might take some time to do that…" Komui began. "Seeing as the machine that got them here in the first place is completely in ruin." The girl in the dress just shrugged.

"No hurry here." She said in unison with her twin. "We're completely fine with staying in the D Gray-Man world." They earned a mob of confused stares.

"D-who'za-what?" Lavi questioned, scratching his head.

"Uh…nothing…" They sweat-dropped. Lavi narrowed his eyes a moment suspiciously, looking at them for a long time, but they only smiled innocently.

"So…what are we gonna do about this?" Allen ventured, looking at the others.

"Well they obviously know too much for them to be allowed to simply leave and wander around…"

"And _what_ exactly do they know?" Leverrier demanded. Everyone went silent as they realized they'd just told Leverrier some key information that would probably prove troublesome for the crazy yet still probably, maybe harmless girls.

"Everything!" The two chimed, not helping matters. The man instantly turned his gaze to them and made them shrink away behind Kanda.

"Uh-oh…"

* * *

**Authors Note(2):** Kougetsu: Heh…so…seems that they really should've kept their mouth's shut, ne?

Junpaku: Of course not, Niisan. Where would our comedy come from?

Kougetsu: Shush, you!

Junpaku: Yes, Seme…

Kou&Jun: Thank you for reading, and please **Review!** This is Kou and Jun, signing off till next time, ne?

Junpaku: ... I still don't know how I'm going to top that chapter... -sweatdrop-


	2. A planned accident

**Authors Note:** Jun: You know… I think I did it… I think I at least matched your chapter niisan… Hope you people like it, took me forever to think it up.

**Disclaimer:** We do not, nor shall we ever, own D Gray Man, unless otherwise stated by Katsura Hoshino. Just look at the damn copyright on the book! Do you see any credit to the Hakuma twins? No. So therefore, obviously, we get no credit. Happy?

* * *

**Otaku save the World!  
A D. Gray-Man Fanfiction  
By: Hakuma_Twins  
Chapter by: Junpaku Hakuma  
Edited by: Kougetsu_KitsuneHinote_Hakuma

* * *

**

**Chapter 2: A planned accident**

It had been a few hours now, the girls had been led to a room and explained that under no circumstances were they aloud to leave it. They had been given a change of clothing, one, formally dressed in a skirt, was now wearing a white tuxedo with a red ribbon around the neck, the silver pocket watched hanging yet again out of her right breast pocket.

The other, thinking this was to cliché, was dressed in a pair of baggy black pants and a long sleeve black shirt that had a small amount of frills down the front.

"Niisan…" the white clothed girl said as she sat side ways in an arm chair, twirling her pocket watch by the chain.

"Yeah?" the one in black asked, yawning, looking over as she lay across the couch that sat in the room.

"I had an evil idea…"The one in white grinned and looked over, a smirk forming on her face.

* * *

_~ time skip~_

Loud yells and squeals rang down the hall as the two girl's ran, quickly turning around a corner. It wasn't long until a large group came around after, hoping to catch the now rampaging twins before they caused to much trouble, or got caught out of their room by Leverrier and one of his pawns.

"Wait!" Allen called, leading the group of scientist and exorcist as they attempted to catch up with the shockingly fast and agile teens.

"Why~?" they chimed back, turning on a heel and running backwards threw the halls.

"Screw this! Lets just kill them!" the PMSing samurai's voice could be heard over the yelling of the group.

The two simply laughed and ducked into a room as they heard the bickering begin. Moving into the room the glanced at the mounds of paper and bottles of liquids, they grinned.

"Look's like we finally found it." They mused in unison before turning around as they heard the bickering stop abruptly.

"I thought I told you two to stay in the other room!" the brown-haired Hitler-wannabe-to-be growled as he moved towards them.

They shrieked, the group having moved to the door way, blocking any escape and watching intently to see what the man's next move would be. Would he harm the two girls?

"What are you doing out here? Well?" the man growled, now looming over the two.

The stepped back, bumping into a stack of paper, they gasped and looked up, ducking out of the mound of falling papers as it toppled over, just managing to escape the sudden avalanche, however, a curtain brown-haired bully, wasn't so lucky.

Sitting on top of the stack of topped papers, a bottle neatly labeled 'Incase of Lenalee's wedding', sat empty on the papers leaving pink chemicals over the stack.

There was dead silence in the room, the exorcists, scientists, and girl's all staring at the pile, waiting for the man to step out and continue his yell once more.

After a moment the girl's exchanged glances before some one yelled.

"You killed him!"

Just as this was said the room went silent once more as the papers began to shift and out came something no one would have expected.

The once Hitler-'stach wanna-be growled, a slight hiss filling the growl.

"Bant isss bhe meaning of bhissss!" he growled then stopped as he heard his own words.

Every one in the room blinked as their eyes landed on the former man, now he stood, or slithered to be exact, over the mound of paper. Pink scales adorned his snake like body, eyes a bright serpent like pink with no hair other than his now pink Hitler 'stach across his head and face. He had no teeth, his lips curving in like an old grandfather's with out his fake dentures.

After the awkward, wide eyed stares, two loud cackling twins collapsed to the floor, holding their stomachs and pointing as tears formed at the corners of their eyes. Sweat drops filled the room before Komui spoke up.

"Oh, so that's what that does…" he said, taking a sip of coffee as he randomly popped his head up from the middle of the group, eyes hidden by the glint of his glasses.

"What do you mean that's what that does?" Reever shouted in annoyance.

"I hadn't tested it yet…"Komui shrugged.

"Why would you make such a thing anyway!" Allen retorted trying to be as polite as he could despite the strain of the whole scene.

"More importantly… Who would make something that they didn't know what it did!" Reever corrected.

"BHAT EBER BHE REBEN SHIX IT" The now pink snake yelled over every one.

They all stopped, blinking, it was so hard to under stand the man let alone take him seriously.

"You know, maybe him being that way isn't so bad." Lavi pointed out, Allen giving a slightly nod despite himself.

The snake man was on them in seconds, hands up as he loomed over the two and hissed. The two screamed, cling to each other before running to hide behind Kanda who just stood with his arms crossed, glaring at the man.

Finally everyone stopped talking and turned their gaze to the still laughing girl's who stopped laughing and stood, panting and making lightly hoot sounds as they tried to catch their breath.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you….?" Link's voice was heard from the front of the crowd.

"Noooo~" The black clothing girl chimed innocently.

"Why would we do that?" the other pointed with a snicker.

They all stared at them blankly.

"What?" they two asked innocently with a shrug.

Leverrier turned suddenly, going back to looming over the girl's with a hiss.

"Whedder this was on Bherpise or not, bou two left the room!" he said the clearest he possibly could.

"But it's boring in there!" the one dressed in white whined in protest.

"I don't care!" he hissed.

"But, but, but…" the other began but was cut off by a point to the door.

"Go!" he hissed darkly, glaring.

"Geez, even all pink with no teeth he's scary." The one in black grumbled.

"Careful niisan, he might gum us to death." The other snickered.

The one in black gave a snort and shook her head at her twins comment as they left the room.

The snake-man turned to the scientist.

"Fix this!" he growled before going to leave the room.

"Link, come with me!"

* * *

**Authors notes 2:**

Jun: lol, yes I know, I make lame comments. Any way, sorry for the long wait and the short chapter, but unlike my niisan it takes me a bit to think up the awesomeness that is crack.

Kou: *yawn*

Jun: . . . OREO COOKIES TASTE LIKE CHEMICALS WEEEEEEE~~~

Kou: O.o Are you sure I'm the one that needs sleep?

Jun: I told you I was tired plus I've been writing a freakin' Crack fiction all morning, what do you except me to do!

Jun & Kou: *cricket, cricket, cricket*

Jun: *passes out on floor*

Kou: Well guess that's all for Authors notes… **Review!**

~Kou&Jun**  
**


	3. Settling In

**Authors Note:** Kou: It's about damn time!

Jun: *waves* Ohaiyou gozaimasu! Kou and Jun here, once again! And with a new chapter of epicness!

Kou: Epicness indeed… *gazes at pages with a smirk* Not as funny as chapter 1, but still hilarious.

Jun: Not really much to say…Niisan just took a long time writing this because he's busy working on a book to be published at the end of the year and has been SUPER busy =3 so pardon him for that.

Kou: At any rate…yes, I'm working on an actual book, so I've been a bit slow…and I've had writers block to top it off when it comes to my FF stories so…that's another reason…but I'm finally getting past that!(I think…) But anyways…

Jun: Without further adieu, here's chapter 3, and special thanks goes out to _Skye_Leiko_, _Shaz7_, _AnimeVamp1997_, and _howlingwindofthestorm_ for their reviews! Thank you all so much =^.^=

**Disclaimer:** Kou&Jun: *take a deep breath* D Gray-Man does not belong to us, it belongs to the amazing Katsura Hoshino-Sensei.

Kou: Can we have that mountain dew now?

Jun: _Pweeeeeeasssse?_

…

Kou: YOU MEAN THERE WAS NO MOUNTAIN DEW? *cries

Jun: YOU BASTARDS! *shot*

* * *

**Otaku save the World!  
****A D Gray-Man Fanfiction  
****By: Hakuma_Twins  
****Chapter by: Kougetsu_KitsuneHinote_Hakuma**

**Chapter 3:** Settling In

* * *

"…which is why you can't go running off into the Sceince Department's potions store." Reever sighed, having just given the twins a long lecture after Leverrier had gone off to try and find a solution to his new…fashion dilemma.

The two looked at each other for a moment before looking back, a blank look to their faces.

"We know. That's why we did it." They said flatly in unison. Reever sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Someone else, please…reason with them or something?" Komui raised his hand and was about to speak when Reever stopped him. "_Besides_ Komui." The Chinese man pouted and sunk back down into his chair. The only reason Reever was lecturing them instead of Komui in the first place is the Branch Chief practically encouraged what had transpired against the Inspector.

"No offence but it really doesn't seem there's any way to reason with them at this point…" Lavi said, shaking his head slightly.

"Nope!" Both quipped in answer to his comment.

"Well, until we can get this mess sorted out, I think it might be a good idea to assign them each a room and let them stay. Besides, trouble or no, I don't think the Inspector would want them to leave, seeing as he knows now how knowledgeable they are." Komui noted, becoming more serious. "There are two empty rooms down the hall from Miranda. Lenalee, could you show them there?" He asked, turning toward his younger sister.

"Of course." She quipped. "If you'll just come with me, I'll show you the way."

"Does it have to be Lenalee?" The girl in the dress, who they'd learned was called Jun, pouted. "Why can't it be Allen or something?"

"C'mon Niisan, don't whine. Allen will just get us lost anyway." The other, Kou, said, pulling her twin to her feet. "Let's just follow the fan-service and be done with it."

"Al-right…" Jun growled, while the others sweat-dropped simultaneously.

_Fan-service?_

* * *

"Since you'll be staying at the Order, I suppose I should give you the tour on our way to your rooms." Lenalee said, leading the two, who looked decidedly bored. "This is the -," she said as they passed by one of the rooms.

"_With open bar,_" Kou coughed into her hand, Jun breaking out into laughter while Lenalee sweatdropped(Refer to episode two of DGM abridged by TehExorcist on Youtube xP).

"Um…no, there's no bar…" She said before they came to another room. "This is the lounge."

"_With open bar,_" Jun coughed this time, Kou snorting.

"Noooo…not here either." Lenalee sweat-dropped. Brightening again, she motioned to a door to their right. "This is the medical ward."

"_With open bar,_" Both coughed, grinning.

"No! There is no open bar!" Lenalee exclaimed. Sighing, she displayed a bright smile again as she led the way down the hall. "Now, this is the cafeteria." She said before looking back, but neither said a word, looking around boredly. Nodding in approval, Lenalee headed toward the individual rooms. "And this is where everyone's rooms are."

"With open bar." The two chimed, earning something that might've been a slight glare. "These are your rooms," Lenalee continued, deciding to ignore them. The two opened the doors and gazed around.

"Looks just like it did in the manga…" Kou noted. "Old and plain…"

"I know, isn't it wonderful?" Jun quipped dreamily, making her twin sweat-drop before she stopped suddenly. "I'm hungry…"

"Hmm…yeah, me too." Kou agreed. "Come to think of it…we haven't eaten since just before we left for the convention…"

"Well then, I'll show you back to the cafeteria. This place can be kind of confusing sometimes." Lenalee offered.

"Lead the way, fan-service." They both said, smirking.

* * *

Within no time, the trio had reached the cafeteria, crowded over with Finders all dressed in white, with only a few people who were Exorcists or scientists. Lenalee led the way towards Jerry's window and turned to them, opening her mouth to speak.

"Order anything we want and Jerry can make it." Kou said, in a flat tone.

"Yeah, we got it." Jun finished. Lenalee blinked at them with her mouth open a second more before closing it and nodding her head. As if on cue, Jerry appeared with a beaming smile.

"Well he~llo~, and what a pair of cuties. What can I get you? Order…"

"Anything we like, we know." They said again.

"Lenalee must've told you that, huh?" He guessed.

"Something like that…" Kou muttered.

"Well, what would you two like? Anything your little hearts' desire~" He rang.

"Sushi." They both said.

"I want spicy." Kou said.

"And I don't want spicy." Jun added.

"A-l-righty~" Jerry said with a beaming grin, disappearing into the window again. It was only a few minutes before he reappeared, handing them each their food. "Here you are, cuties~" They both stared for a moment before Jun went to speak.

"I really need to know, because this question has been plaguing my mind…are you ga-" _SMACK._ "_Mmmfph!_"

Jun tried to pull Kou's hand away at the same instant that the teen smacked a hand over her mouth and pulled her away.

"_Shush!_" Jun immediately obeyed. "Ask that now and we'll have to work in his kitchen like Krory…" Jun thought a moment and nodded while Kou looked around calculatedly. "We need a scapegoat…" It just so happened that Lavi and Allen were walking into the room right that very moment and both twins' eyes lit up in unison as they each got the same idea. Nodding, they both turned back towards the window.

"Like my niisan was saying before…" Kou began.

"We need to ask…" Jun added.

"Are you gay?" Both asked. Jerry gaped at them for a moment before seeming to contemplate hitting them with something. "Lavi told us to ask!" They both piped at the same instant that he found a metal pan, ducking with their sushi in hand as he threw it out the window.

"Wait…hu-" _PAAANG._ The two twins laughed as they watched a frying pan collide with Lavi's face, all but knocking him over. Still laughing, the two bolted to one of the tables and sat down, still snickering and snorting even as Lavi was rubbing his now sore face. "Ow…what was that about?" Lavi grimaced, before being grabbed by Jerry and practically pulled through the window to the back of the kitchen. Allen sweat-dropped and headed over to the table where the two girls were sitting.

"You didn't ask Jerry what I think you asked, did you?" Allen inquired in a polite tone.

"That depends, what did you think you asked that we may have asked that you are asking about us asking?" Kou inquired with a beaming smirk, resting her chin on palm.

"Um…what?" Allen blinked a couple of times.

"Niisan wants to know what you think we asked that you are asking about what we asked at this very moment that you are asking." Jun said with a roguish grin. Allen opened his mouth to speak before seeming to think better of it and shook his head.

"You know what…never mind…" The two grinned as Allen headed towards Jerry's window, seeing as he likely wasn't going to get a straight answer out of either. Jun noticed a particular look in her twin's eye, instantly knowing what it meant even as Kou was eating, and looking as non-challant as possible. Jun wasn't fooled, of course.

"You're planning something…" Jun said in just a slightly accusing tone, popping a sushi roll into her mouth.

"Something." Kou admitted with a slight smirk, leaving the rest in the dark. Jun pouted slightly.

"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then you should know that I want in on it."

"And what is it that you think I'm thinking that you think you know I'm thinking that you think you want in on because of what I'm thinking that you think you know." Kou said with a smirk.

"I think that what you're thinking that I think I know you're thinking should be discussed in private so what you're thinking that I think you're thinking can be said without someone else knowing what we're thinking is." Jun replied. Kou just nodded and quickly finished eating, Jun finishing at the same instant before they got up.

"And wethinks we should retreat to our room for now before Jerry, Allen, and Lavi come back." They both said in unison, wandering off, and just in time for the trio to miss them. Just as planned.

* * *

Kou easily found the way back to the two empty rooms – now designated as theirs – and stretched her arms over her head. Making their way both into one of the rooms, Kou flopped on the bed unceremoniously and yawned with a stretch.

"So, what were you thinking, niisan?" Jun inquired as she sat on the edge. Kou looked thoughtful for a moment before sitting up, an impish grin to her face.

"Okay, here's what we should do…"

* * *

**Authors Note(2):** Kou: CLIFFHANGER, BWUAHAHAHAHAHAAA

Jun: Owo You're unusually, um…energetic…today, Niisan.

Kou: I am really happy~ *twirls like a ballerina*

Jun: O-kay…. *backs away slowly* Anyway, thanks for reading if you made it this far! And please…

Kou&Jun: **REVIEW!**

Until next time~  
Kou and Jun, out.


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